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Sunday, November 1, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
FOX verus the DVR.... An Epic Battle
I think the DVR is the greatest invention in the history of man. And I think some of you might agree with me. Outside of a live sporting event that I want to follow in real time, I'm not sure when the last time I actually watched a commercial. I HATE commercials. I would love to capture a micro fraction of the amount of money spent on stupid commercials. That's a theme for another day, but I saw something Sunday that really got my blood flowing.
FOX does a pretty good job with their programing. Their sports and prime time network line up is pretty solid. From Joe Buck to House all in all, I like what I see. I tuned in Sunday to watch their NFL pregame show - which I prefer over CBS and ESPN. And to my horror what do I see???
Michael Strahan, a former all pro defensive line man for the New York football Giants and member of the pregame show, had a sweepstakes winner on a live segment going through the features and benefits of a Ford Focus - the prize that she had won. A 'live" commercial in the middle of a program that I was waiting to see the Falcons/Cowboys preview! So what did I do - I switched to ESPN of course. I felt like I had been duped. I hate commercials!!
After thinking about this for a few days, I have to hand it to FOX. That was clever. They know that the DVR is the greatest invention in the history of man and they realize that invention is eating away at advertising profits. I give them kudos for trying. But they failed. So in the interest of being a good sport and trying to help them, I've decide to tell them how to make this little trick work.
To the Executives of FOX Sports.... If you choose to try another "live" commercial, then I suggest the following changes to keep your target audience (me) from changing channels.
#1. Make sure the winner does not look like a middle school librarian. If you insist on awarding the prize to a Mom, then at least make her a MILF.
#2. I would suggest that you have her wear a short plaid skirt, form fitting white shirt with a button or two unbuttoned. Knee high black boots would compliment that nicely.
#3. I would have the prize be Cadillac XRL, a Jaguar XF or a BMW 650i. NOT a Ford Focus.
#4. Let Frank Caliendo do the segment. He could do his John Madden impersonation because Madden would not know a hot chick from a hot read.
With just a little more creativity, FOX may be on to something. But unless you want to hear tens of thousands of "clicks" changing the channel FOX take my advice. Strahan may be good enough to get his own TV show and he certainly knows how to break down an opponents offensive line, but he is not someone I need to hear talking about a Ford Focus. I'm quite sure he doesn't drive one.
What's next? Terry Bradshaw doing a piece on depends?
David
FOX does a pretty good job with their programing. Their sports and prime time network line up is pretty solid. From Joe Buck to House all in all, I like what I see. I tuned in Sunday to watch their NFL pregame show - which I prefer over CBS and ESPN. And to my horror what do I see???
Michael Strahan, a former all pro defensive line man for the New York football Giants and member of the pregame show, had a sweepstakes winner on a live segment going through the features and benefits of a Ford Focus - the prize that she had won. A 'live" commercial in the middle of a program that I was waiting to see the Falcons/Cowboys preview! So what did I do - I switched to ESPN of course. I felt like I had been duped. I hate commercials!!
After thinking about this for a few days, I have to hand it to FOX. That was clever. They know that the DVR is the greatest invention in the history of man and they realize that invention is eating away at advertising profits. I give them kudos for trying. But they failed. So in the interest of being a good sport and trying to help them, I've decide to tell them how to make this little trick work.
To the Executives of FOX Sports.... If you choose to try another "live" commercial, then I suggest the following changes to keep your target audience (me) from changing channels.
#1. Make sure the winner does not look like a middle school librarian. If you insist on awarding the prize to a Mom, then at least make her a MILF.
#2. I would suggest that you have her wear a short plaid skirt, form fitting white shirt with a button or two unbuttoned. Knee high black boots would compliment that nicely.
#3. I would have the prize be Cadillac XRL, a Jaguar XF or a BMW 650i. NOT a Ford Focus.
#4. Let Frank Caliendo do the segment. He could do his John Madden impersonation because Madden would not know a hot chick from a hot read.
With just a little more creativity, FOX may be on to something. But unless you want to hear tens of thousands of "clicks" changing the channel FOX take my advice. Strahan may be good enough to get his own TV show and he certainly knows how to break down an opponents offensive line, but he is not someone I need to hear talking about a Ford Focus. I'm quite sure he doesn't drive one.
What's next? Terry Bradshaw doing a piece on depends?
David
Monday, October 26, 2009
4Things You Didn't Realize You Missed
There wasn't any one thing that stood out from this past weekend of football, but there were a couple of things that did cause me to at least think. Hold the comments about thinking - I've heard them all.
First - congratulations to Brad Childress - Head Coach of the Minnesota Vikings for actually looking like a real head coach in the NFL. He wore a hat - which is always good for bald men who insist on letting the hair on their sides grow out. He seems to be growing a full beard - I assume as a result of the Vikings winning streak. And he wore a black shirt - which as we all know is very slimming and for a guy is very masculine. He still had that roach looking thing in his ear instead of a traditional head set, but for the first time this season he didn't look like an 8th grade math teacher.
Second - what happened to just crossing the the end zone? Is there a secret manual now that requires all players who score a touchdown on a breakaway that they have to flip into the end zone? I realize they're excited. I understand it's their big moment. Yes I know they're incredible athletes. But how long before one of them tragically ends their career because they don't rotate all the way over and they break their neck? Come on guys - show a little class!
Third - Part time job opening in Knoxville. Wanted - field goal kicker with minimal talent. Local college football program seeks skinny soccer player with ability to kick the ball higher than 4 feet off the ground. Must be able to handle pressure in big moments. The position will report to an under age head coach with a large mouth. Work hours are 5 times a week for approximately 2 hours per day and then 3 hours on Saturday. Sunday's off. If interested please bring football cleats to practice Monday at 5:30.
Fourth - Media Guide Publishers have now joined weather people as the only jobs in America where you can be completely wrong and not lose your job. I'd love to meet the guy who published the Mississippi State's Media guide who actually had the balls to list starting quarterback Tyson Lee as 5"10". Are you kidding me? He was getting a squirt of Gatorade from a water girl Saturday night against Florida and she was looking down at him!! I want a job like that!
Have a great week - tune in on Wednesday for a great post on how sports TV has stooped to an all time low!
David
First - congratulations to Brad Childress - Head Coach of the Minnesota Vikings for actually looking like a real head coach in the NFL. He wore a hat - which is always good for bald men who insist on letting the hair on their sides grow out. He seems to be growing a full beard - I assume as a result of the Vikings winning streak. And he wore a black shirt - which as we all know is very slimming and for a guy is very masculine. He still had that roach looking thing in his ear instead of a traditional head set, but for the first time this season he didn't look like an 8th grade math teacher.
Second - what happened to just crossing the the end zone? Is there a secret manual now that requires all players who score a touchdown on a breakaway that they have to flip into the end zone? I realize they're excited. I understand it's their big moment. Yes I know they're incredible athletes. But how long before one of them tragically ends their career because they don't rotate all the way over and they break their neck? Come on guys - show a little class!
Third - Part time job opening in Knoxville. Wanted - field goal kicker with minimal talent. Local college football program seeks skinny soccer player with ability to kick the ball higher than 4 feet off the ground. Must be able to handle pressure in big moments. The position will report to an under age head coach with a large mouth. Work hours are 5 times a week for approximately 2 hours per day and then 3 hours on Saturday. Sunday's off. If interested please bring football cleats to practice Monday at 5:30.
Fourth - Media Guide Publishers have now joined weather people as the only jobs in America where you can be completely wrong and not lose your job. I'd love to meet the guy who published the Mississippi State's Media guide who actually had the balls to list starting quarterback Tyson Lee as 5"10". Are you kidding me? He was getting a squirt of Gatorade from a water girl Saturday night against Florida and she was looking down at him!! I want a job like that!
Have a great week - tune in on Wednesday for a great post on how sports TV has stooped to an all time low!
David
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Fans Are Out of Control
What is going on with football fans? Yes I know that fan is short for fanatic but things are getting out of control. Was there a full moon this past weekend? I saw things that continue to make me wonder what's in the water around here (and I'm not talking about Bourbon - I KNOW that's in there).
Let's start with GA Tech. First - I am a HUGE Tech fan. Love them, pull for them, wish I had gone to school there - but as reported in an earlier blog - I wasn't smart enough. I was in Indianapolis on business this week and I made my travel companions go with me to a sports bar to watch the game after a business event. There's a 100 TV's in this place and I have to tip a guy to change one of them to this game. I'm the only person in the place watching this game. I totally ignore the conversation at the table while I'm watching the game - complete with random bursts of excitement because something good happened. And we win the game and you could make the argument it was the biggest win in school history for the past 20 years. So I get it.
After the game the students tear down the goal posts. And some of them got hurt. Yes I realize this is a tradition. I know it's been going on for years. But these are engineering students. They are suppose to be smart. They should be smart enough to act like they know how to win. We make fun of our brethren from Athens on how they can't win with class and certainly loose like 3-year old so shouldn't we show a little class when we win? This won't be the last big game that we win under Paul Johnson.
Please tell me what's going on in Minnesota. Yes they have a great team. Yes they should be excited. Yes they are a favorite to go to the Super Bowl. But did you see how some of them were dressed on Sunday? They looked like they just got off a Viking ship - yesterday. They spent more money on a costume to go to a football game than I did for my entire wardrobe. I know that doesn't say much about my wardrobe but you know what I'm talking about. Fox does not help the case by showing the guy going into every commercial break. And their head coach still looks like an 8th grade math teacher.
I love football. I get it and much as anyone does. I'm passionate about the game and completely understand the external combustion when my team scores. But come on people - it's a game.
Here's to winning!
David
Let's start with GA Tech. First - I am a HUGE Tech fan. Love them, pull for them, wish I had gone to school there - but as reported in an earlier blog - I wasn't smart enough. I was in Indianapolis on business this week and I made my travel companions go with me to a sports bar to watch the game after a business event. There's a 100 TV's in this place and I have to tip a guy to change one of them to this game. I'm the only person in the place watching this game. I totally ignore the conversation at the table while I'm watching the game - complete with random bursts of excitement because something good happened. And we win the game and you could make the argument it was the biggest win in school history for the past 20 years. So I get it.
After the game the students tear down the goal posts. And some of them got hurt. Yes I realize this is a tradition. I know it's been going on for years. But these are engineering students. They are suppose to be smart. They should be smart enough to act like they know how to win. We make fun of our brethren from Athens on how they can't win with class and certainly loose like 3-year old so shouldn't we show a little class when we win? This won't be the last big game that we win under Paul Johnson.
Please tell me what's going on in Minnesota. Yes they have a great team. Yes they should be excited. Yes they are a favorite to go to the Super Bowl. But did you see how some of them were dressed on Sunday? They looked like they just got off a Viking ship - yesterday. They spent more money on a costume to go to a football game than I did for my entire wardrobe. I know that doesn't say much about my wardrobe but you know what I'm talking about. Fox does not help the case by showing the guy going into every commercial break. And their head coach still looks like an 8th grade math teacher.
I love football. I get it and much as anyone does. I'm passionate about the game and completely understand the external combustion when my team scores. But come on people - it's a game.
Here's to winning!
David
Not So Fast My Friend!!
I might be in the minority here, but I like Sports TV personalities. I think they make watching a game so much more enjoyable. I'm not talking about former jocks who get hired the minute they retire, but guys who who made their mark in the broadcast booth.
In my lifetime the first one that I remember was Howard Cosell. Incredibly intelligent, very controversial and had a unique ability to both divide and unify and audience during the same broadcast.
Then John Madden designed the blue print for becoming THE face of the NFL. He became so popular that he has one of the top selling video games of all time.
More recently Chris Berman has become the face of ESPN. I'm not sure there's been anyone in the field of sports broadcasting that has done more for their company then what Berman has done for ESPN.
Lee Corso of College Game Day used to fall into this category. Yes he had a long football coaching caeer but he "made it" on College Gameday. His trademark slogan - "not so fast my friend" became a catch phrase a lot of us used in everyday life. His use of the school Mascot head to show whom he picked in a game became the highlight of the show. Nothing drew the ire of the crowd more than for him to pick the home teams opponent.
This past year Corso had a stroke. he has worked extremely hard to get back in front of the cameras. His humor and wit have not died and he hasn't forgotten how to analyze a football game. But he's not the same guy. His delivery is slowed down, he doesn't show the emotion and fire that caused me to become a big fan. Watching him last Saturday at times hurt. He seemed to forget what he was going to say while the cameras were squarely on him.
Lee Corso should be an inspiration to all stroke victims. His passion for the game was his motivation to do the hard work necessary to get back to work. He could have just sailed into retirement - he is 73 years old. But he worked his butt off to get back.
Coach - thank you for not giving up. I know you're not back to your old self but a little bit of Lee Corso is better than no Lee Corso.
David
In my lifetime the first one that I remember was Howard Cosell. Incredibly intelligent, very controversial and had a unique ability to both divide and unify and audience during the same broadcast.
Then John Madden designed the blue print for becoming THE face of the NFL. He became so popular that he has one of the top selling video games of all time.
More recently Chris Berman has become the face of ESPN. I'm not sure there's been anyone in the field of sports broadcasting that has done more for their company then what Berman has done for ESPN.
Lee Corso of College Game Day used to fall into this category. Yes he had a long football coaching caeer but he "made it" on College Gameday. His trademark slogan - "not so fast my friend" became a catch phrase a lot of us used in everyday life. His use of the school Mascot head to show whom he picked in a game became the highlight of the show. Nothing drew the ire of the crowd more than for him to pick the home teams opponent.
This past year Corso had a stroke. he has worked extremely hard to get back in front of the cameras. His humor and wit have not died and he hasn't forgotten how to analyze a football game. But he's not the same guy. His delivery is slowed down, he doesn't show the emotion and fire that caused me to become a big fan. Watching him last Saturday at times hurt. He seemed to forget what he was going to say while the cameras were squarely on him.
Lee Corso should be an inspiration to all stroke victims. His passion for the game was his motivation to do the hard work necessary to get back to work. He could have just sailed into retirement - he is 73 years old. But he worked his butt off to get back.
Coach - thank you for not giving up. I know you're not back to your old self but a little bit of Lee Corso is better than no Lee Corso.
David
Monday, October 19, 2009
Top Ten Sports Hoax's of All Time
Ok I admit it - I am fascinated with this whole balloon boy episode. You have to stoop pretty low to get your entire family - including 3 kids under the age of 10 - involved in a prank that can land you in jail. I did a quick Google search and typed in "Balloon Boy" and got 14,800,000 web sites and that included 11,247 related articles at NPR. Ok - so this is 11,248.
But I'm not writing about this whacked out father and how he planned to get his own reality show from this prank. I started thinking about the greatest sport's hoax's of all time and decided to put together my top 10 sports hoaxes in history. Without further ado, here are my top ten sport hoaxes of all time....
#10 - Rankin Smith pretending to be a NFL owner. Can you say Marion Campbell - twice? I'm not sure what type of people he surrounded himself with to make football decisions - but they weren't football people.
#9 - David Duval pretending to be a professional golfer. We all get into a funk, but how does someone that talented fall that far so fast?
#8 - Jon Koncak pretending to be a professional basketball player. Does this need any more explanation?
#7 - Jerry Glanville as a NFL coach. How can someone who traded away Brett Favre ever be considered an NFL coach?
#6 - The 1976 Tampa Bay Buccaneers as an NFL football team. Yes it was an expansion team but they were paid to play a game.
#5 - The 2008 Detroit Lions. Nuff said.
#4 - Bill Buckner pretending to be a Major League First baseman in the 1986 World Series. Sorry Bill but that one still stings to this day.
#3 - Ryan Leaf pretending to by an NFL quarterback. How Bobby Beathard got duped into that pick will be one of the greatest mysteries of all time.
#2 - Mike Tyson thinking he was a professional boxer. I realize Holyfield and Tyson made up on Oprah this week, but how low do you have to stoop to bite someone's ear off? Unless of course you're in a grade B horror movie.
And the number one sports hoax of all time is.......
#1 - Michael Vick pretending to be a human being. A former #1 draft pick in the NFL and at the time the highest paid player in the league. Spent several seasons for the Falcons shooting the bird at fans, not coming to off season conditioning, bypassing film study and then openly lying to the commissioner about his role in a dog fighting ring. And now after serving jail time is perplexed by the fact that no one is willing to hand him a starting job in the NFL. Get a grip Michael.
Let me know which ones I left off - maybe we can start a Top 100 Sports Hoaxes of all time.
David
But I'm not writing about this whacked out father and how he planned to get his own reality show from this prank. I started thinking about the greatest sport's hoax's of all time and decided to put together my top 10 sports hoaxes in history. Without further ado, here are my top ten sport hoaxes of all time....
#10 - Rankin Smith pretending to be a NFL owner. Can you say Marion Campbell - twice? I'm not sure what type of people he surrounded himself with to make football decisions - but they weren't football people.
#9 - David Duval pretending to be a professional golfer. We all get into a funk, but how does someone that talented fall that far so fast?
#8 - Jon Koncak pretending to be a professional basketball player. Does this need any more explanation?
#7 - Jerry Glanville as a NFL coach. How can someone who traded away Brett Favre ever be considered an NFL coach?
#6 - The 1976 Tampa Bay Buccaneers as an NFL football team. Yes it was an expansion team but they were paid to play a game.
#5 - The 2008 Detroit Lions. Nuff said.
#4 - Bill Buckner pretending to be a Major League First baseman in the 1986 World Series. Sorry Bill but that one still stings to this day.
#3 - Ryan Leaf pretending to by an NFL quarterback. How Bobby Beathard got duped into that pick will be one of the greatest mysteries of all time.
#2 - Mike Tyson thinking he was a professional boxer. I realize Holyfield and Tyson made up on Oprah this week, but how low do you have to stoop to bite someone's ear off? Unless of course you're in a grade B horror movie.
And the number one sports hoax of all time is.......
#1 - Michael Vick pretending to be a human being. A former #1 draft pick in the NFL and at the time the highest paid player in the league. Spent several seasons for the Falcons shooting the bird at fans, not coming to off season conditioning, bypassing film study and then openly lying to the commissioner about his role in a dog fighting ring. And now after serving jail time is perplexed by the fact that no one is willing to hand him a starting job in the NFL. Get a grip Michael.
Let me know which ones I left off - maybe we can start a Top 100 Sports Hoaxes of all time.
David
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Limbaugh vs. Madonna
I promised myself I wasn't going to do this. When everyone is weighing in on a very controversial issue I need to shut up and stay out of it. But I can't help myself. Why should every one else have fun and get to state their opinion. That's why I stated this blog in the first place.
The entire "media" seems to think that Rush Limbaugh doesn't deserve a chance to own the St. Louis Rams and apparently the NFL agrees. He was booted from the group who was going through the bid process today. Side note: if this process is suppose to be secret - how did the media find out in the first place? I'm not jumping in to make a case for him or against him. There's been plenty of people already doing that. I have a different angle.
The NFL is one of - if not the most elite boys club in the world. Other than the Green Bay Packers which is a publicly held company and the Chicago Bears who are owned by Virginia Halas McCaskey the oldest child to George Halas, the NFL is the ultimate rich white boys club. Thirty of the wealthest men in the United States. And 75% of them have to approve a new owner. I have no problem with them being able to pick and choose who they want to join their club.
The media outcry has been over what Rush has said on his radio show, in speeches and on his short lived stint with ESPN. The last time I checked we were all granted freedom of speech in this country by the Bill of Rights. But according to the media - that's not true. Because of what Rush has said, he's been designated unfit to be an NFL owner by the media, the NFL Players Association, several NFL players and almost everyone else who has a platform to issue an opinion.
My question is this. If the media was outraged over Limbaugh's bid to buy a NFL team because of his opinion would they react the same way if Jessie Jackson decided to buy a team? He's been as controversial as anyone.
How about Jane Fonda? She has certainly ruffled some feathers in her day. Would the media be outraged over her desire to own a team?
Barbara Streisand? She has weighed in with some very derogatory remarks in her career.
Madonna? Talk about a lightening rod for sticking your foot in your mouth.
My guess is the table would be tilted 180 degrees the other way. If any of these people were turned down by the rich boys club the outrage would be ten fold against the NFL. How dare those racist, sexist pigs turn down any of those deserving people.
I have no problem with the NFL picking who they want to join their club. It's too bad the media has taken on the job of telling us what we need to think.
David
The entire "media" seems to think that Rush Limbaugh doesn't deserve a chance to own the St. Louis Rams and apparently the NFL agrees. He was booted from the group who was going through the bid process today. Side note: if this process is suppose to be secret - how did the media find out in the first place? I'm not jumping in to make a case for him or against him. There's been plenty of people already doing that. I have a different angle.
The NFL is one of - if not the most elite boys club in the world. Other than the Green Bay Packers which is a publicly held company and the Chicago Bears who are owned by Virginia Halas McCaskey the oldest child to George Halas, the NFL is the ultimate rich white boys club. Thirty of the wealthest men in the United States. And 75% of them have to approve a new owner. I have no problem with them being able to pick and choose who they want to join their club.
The media outcry has been over what Rush has said on his radio show, in speeches and on his short lived stint with ESPN. The last time I checked we were all granted freedom of speech in this country by the Bill of Rights. But according to the media - that's not true. Because of what Rush has said, he's been designated unfit to be an NFL owner by the media, the NFL Players Association, several NFL players and almost everyone else who has a platform to issue an opinion.
My question is this. If the media was outraged over Limbaugh's bid to buy a NFL team because of his opinion would they react the same way if Jessie Jackson decided to buy a team? He's been as controversial as anyone.
How about Jane Fonda? She has certainly ruffled some feathers in her day. Would the media be outraged over her desire to own a team?
Barbara Streisand? She has weighed in with some very derogatory remarks in her career.
Madonna? Talk about a lightening rod for sticking your foot in your mouth.
My guess is the table would be tilted 180 degrees the other way. If any of these people were turned down by the rich boys club the outrage would be ten fold against the NFL. How dare those racist, sexist pigs turn down any of those deserving people.
I have no problem with the NFL picking who they want to join their club. It's too bad the media has taken on the job of telling us what we need to think.
David
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